then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
