I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
