Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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