Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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