who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
