I wannas sexs uuuuu
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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