Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
