I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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