We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
