so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
