I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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