Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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