so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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