If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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