I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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