Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
be right there i have to get my cape
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
