wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
this will be a night to untag.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
