Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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