i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
