But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So much rum. So many feels.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
