if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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