I think I died a long time ago.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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