Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize