im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize