so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
