On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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