It's Friday. Sex?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize