You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
