with your own penis?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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