i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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