Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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