Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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