Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
