if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
