5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
A bitchslap is in order.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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