remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
