im six kinds of drunk right now
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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