Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
