I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
