Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
