My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
