So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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