I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
