have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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