Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
