She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
