I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
