on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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