naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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