matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
