What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
