what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
