Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
