MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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