We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
