toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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