If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The struggles of a small town man whore
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