I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
When are your genitals available?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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