i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
