I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
please come you make the beer taste better
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize