New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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