I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
