His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize