Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
